Doing Scene Work

After spending some quality time with Dexter's novel, I have realized that the scenes I've been writing and putting together, while good on their own, form a rather disjointed whole. So I'm taking the weekend to add some sense to them all. I need to flesh out some of these characters and give them more interaction with one another, so far it is just pieces of things. I'm thinking my end of August deadline will come and go, but having it has at least pushed me to do some real work on this thing so far. Here's a brief excerpt, one of my favorite Dexter scenes:


She took a mouthful of scalding tea to fortify herself, and almost choked. Dexter chuckled.
"No, you're enjoying your pseudo-freedom, aren't you? The silk sheets, the delicious food. Nevermind that you'll never see the surface again, nor feel the sun on your face. But what is the sun to Lord Valens' attentions, eh? What is your life to his love? A small price to pay, I'm sure. Has he made you any promises yet? Has he professed his intentions? No? Pity. I'm sure he will. I'm sure he'll promise you the moon, the stars, all the riches in this world. Perhaps even eternal youth if you're lucky. Because you're special, aren't you? You're not like the others that he's kept, the humans he found so beguiling when they first arrived. You're his favorite now, aren't you?"
Michele had stopped eating and was watching his face as he spoke. Her bravado had melted away during his speech, as the truth of his words forced its way through. She was still a prisoner here, regardless of the luxuries she was provided; a prisoner to a monster, who very recently had ordered his previous harem slaughtered.
"Lost your appetite, darling? Tsk tsk tsk."
She had lost her voice, too, managing only a breathless whisper.
"You… you can't…"
"Oh but I can, pet. Words leave precious few bruises, you know."